louder than words

ATTENTION

2010-04-19T14:22:00.001+10:00

louderthanwords

has moved!

please follow us at:

http://www.jtlpxo.blogspot.com/

love, lily and jazmyn ♥

Love Hate

2010-03-30T19:51:00.001+10:00

Happy Birthday Roger :)

Those who hate most fervently
must have once loved deeply;
those who want to deny the world
must have once embraced
what they now set on fire.

Today we had a lockdown drill. Our teacher hadn't even come to class yet to let us in so this other lady did. Our teacher was on the phone with a parent and got locked in the staff room during the drill LOL. After 2 days of of stalking the teacher with Cindy, we finally got our marks back for our exam and assignment. I'm really happy about my results too, i got an A. :D Not only am I now scared of the refectory, but also the ladies who sell there as well. They hate me and some of my friends because we lost their knife. Well not lost, but misplaced, and forgot. Turns out our student director or something found it, then it was like rage etc. I'm so tiredddddddddd. L ♥

I also found the below interesting :D

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=qasmt

His side
-"tell her how you feel" is what my friends said
-so i picked up the phone
-called your house
-you answerd
-i said "i love you"
-and hung up right after
-the next day
-i told you it was a bet from a friend
-it was partly true
-but you didnt answer
-no sassy come back wich you allways do
-just stood there
-the walked away

My side
-he called my house
-i picked up
-he told me he loved me
-then hung up
-the next day
-i was going to tell you i loved you back
-but you said it was a bet
-i had everything planned out
-every move i planned
-every word
-but when you said that...
-i had nothing to say
-i stood and watched you
-as you broke my heart

When someone really loves you,
they will never hurt you.
And if they do,
you can see it in their eyes
that it hurts them too.

When we are in love we often
doubt that which we most believe.

Humor Me.

2010-03-29T21:21:00.001+10:00

Nikki ( No life + Too much free time ) =

- ★ η ικκι; hana yori dango`ing ;'( says:
*;L
*sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
*i was like :) then :D then ;) but now after (pl)`ing i feel like +o(`ing

*i was about to :'( but since i know you (L) me , im gna <:o) , wna join my <:o) ? with loats and lots of (^) & (pi) o:
*we can drink (C) or (D) or (B) cuz we're cool , and then you can give me a (G) with a (K) cuz im worth it ;D
*then we'll be on the (T) all the time , cuz you wna ({) me so much o: then we'd go and (P) together and hten (~) together ;) and you know what happens in (~) dnt you
*chese

anyways , after (K) in the (~) together , you had a (I) ! then we went to a (ip) with only a (bah) and (mp) , and boy did we have fun that we were :D and ;) and <:o) all day ;D

★ η ικκι; hana yori dango`ing ;'( says:
*then you went all2love when you saw me in my new (au) because i was `1`ing you when i saw you ;D you then bought a (&) to replace your (@) who was eaten by your (bah) that got ran over by my new (au) that you were 2love`ing all over . after that it was (st) and (li) and since your so (A) , you gave me your (um) so i could walk to me (au) to drive home and feed my (nnh) that you (L)

Too see what it means, go on msn. Lol. LOVER HER HEAPS ;D Also also,

42 Ways To Piss Off Your Parents :)

Enjoy ;D

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying to fly...

12. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people...

13. At everything they say yell, Liar...

14. Try to swim in the floor...

15. Tap on their door all night...

16.Pretend to have amnesia...

17.Say everything backwards...

18.Give yourself a swirly...

19.Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling, "the sun!!! it's dying!!!"...

20.Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house...in your underwear...

21.Have nervous spasms at spontaneous times...

22.Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder..

23.Run in circles...

24.Recite a whole movie 3 times...

25.Pretend to beat yourself up...

26.Slither everywhere...

27.Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist... tell them you're making a fashion statement...

28.Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way...

29.Super glue your finger up your nose...

30.Talk to a pen...

31.Lay face down and chant like an indian tribe...

32.Try and climb the wall...

33.Spread out on the window and buzz, pretending to be a fly...

34.Take your ice cream cone and put it one your forehead... say you're a lovely unicorn...

35.Put pegs on your nose and eyes...

36.Switch the light button on and off for a while. then say, "ooooh... I get it!!!"...

37.Eat your hair...

38.Whatever they are eating, tell them it looks like a certain animal...

39.Eat anything obviously not edible...

40.Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house...

41.When you shower or bathe yell, "i'm drowning!!!"...

42.Try to snorkel in your fish tank...

L ♥

Out of a Tainted World

2010-03-28T22:32:00.006+10:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASMIN !

So many candles... so little cake. Just kidding, ahahas. Love you Jasmin !

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.

Haven't been up to much lately besides schoolwork and all that. Late nights and early mornings pretty much describe my lifestyle at present. SMT doesn’t really offer things such as a social life so I’ve been at home studying or working on homework and assignments for pretty much all this term. Jasmin’s birthday outing was yesterday, however, although I was planning to go, other personal obligations were in the way. From what I heard, it was really fun and Jas loved her present, so it’s all good. I really miss all the Westsiders, hope you's are all doing well! Also, a big get well soon to Max's Dad. (yn)

- Maccy (: says:
*hey hey
*i have a question
*;]
*if money doesnt grow on trees
*why do banks
*have branches
*?

Maxine, she's just cool like that aye. ;)

"The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you and once that happens you've had it, things'll never be the same. all you can do is go on living alone down there in the darkness."

Got a call from a charity last night, asking me to donate all my used clothing to starving africans i told her go to hell, if they can fit in my clothes, they sure were not starving. Lmao !

Also came accross these pictures while I was trying to releave myself of boredom and I though I might share it with yous. Lol

I feel like watching a movie, and eating pancakes with icecream and maple syrup.

But no, I'm too lazy to do anything about that. Maybe Tomorow.

Holidays coming up, time to meet up with with Jen & Tilda :)

But in the meantine, I have yet to procrasinate for a Mando exam & attend Cross Country.

L ♥

Though the wound has already healed, the mark always remains in order to remind you of the constant pain. You can’t hide it, but you can learn to ignore it, learn to believe that it’s not there.

Out of a Tainted World

Fists and Lipsticks.

2010-03-24T11:29:00.001+10:00

As you may have realised, I don't use blogspot anymore. However for all you fanfiction readers out there, I thought I'd make a quick post advertising one I recently read. Its called "Fists and Lipsticks" by Hiro0911. I must say, this is one of the best fanfiction stories I've ever read. Actually probably the best. The way the story is constructed and written is really good, and there are lots of unexpected twists that you don't see coming. I wasn't able to stop reading because it was so addictive! Its sad at parts, humorous, meaningful, and above all, sweet. Basically everything, its a Mystery/Romance. I highly recommend you read it! I'd give it a 10/10. To read, just click on the link below.

Fists and Lipsticks

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2191842/1/

Fists and Lipsticks 2 : The Silver Cresent

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2537205/1/Fists_and_Lipsticks_2_The_Silver_Crescent

xo, jazmyn

CHEERS / LILY

2010-02-23T21:25:00.003+10:00

omg, im blogging again due to the constant nagging of some loser - nikki (: arent i nice nikki, im blogging just for you ! - possibly and hopefully for the last time. LOL I HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS ANYMORE COS OF STUPID QASMT D:

but yeah , hm todaaaay i cant rmbr what happend. so i`ll fast forward to the afternoon. ummm, i trained with sarah, maxine, nikki, franky & saeed. sarah and maxine got off at indro to shop and nikki and i got off at oxley a while later. omg on the train , nikki learnt how to say blue - in viet that is :D GOOD WORK NIKKI . well anyway, we got off and she didnt have a ride home so i called my dad to pick us up and take her to inala LOL

well before my dad came, we stayed at the station waiting. we did lots of fun fun fun activities LOL like um, counting the number of blue and white cars that came passed. she went with white and i stuck with blue. evidently, i won :D winning with a final score of 35 to 25 i think it was :D later on i dropped a coin which went all the way out onto the road ; and so i was about to pick it up when some lady nearly drove on it D: fortunately, she went past it but like it was just behind her tyre .. kept on thinking she was going to reverse and like kill me or think i was some mental kid checking out her mad as car .. -.- (:

HAPPY LATE AS BIRTHDAY TO DEAREST SARAH

MAY THE WORST OF YOUR PAST BE THE BEST OF YOUR FUTURE ! ♡

I LOVE YOU ( L )

FEELING ALIVE (: / LILY

2010-02-20T14:04:00.003+10:00

FKING LOVING LIFE RIGHT NOW ! :D

What you have is God's gift to you, what you do with that gift is your gift to God.

GOODBYE / JAZMYN

2010-02-10T15:02:00.002+10:00

this will be my last post as i'll be no longer using blogspot but instead, tumblr which will be mostly quotes and photographs. it'll be up to lily whether or not she'll continue with blogging. blogspot has be the home to all my deepest feelings and emotions which i have expressed throughout the months, and i hope you enjoyed reading ♡
in the meantime follow me on :

http://sweetestkiss.tumblr.com/

love, jazmyn

falling for you / JAZMYN

2010-02-08T14:23:00.004+10:00

I have a secret ♥
, xo.

silence has a sound / JAZMYN

2010-02-02T11:51:00.000+10:00

Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your money. Fall in love. Get to know someone random. Say i love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at a stupid joke. Get revenge.Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell the asshole how you feel. Let someone know what they're missing. Laugh till your stomach hurts.

time slows down, whenever you're around / JAZMYN

2010-01-28T20:01:00.005+10:00

sometimes, the most important things are left unsaid.

oops - taj jackson ft. karlie redd / JAZMYN

2010-01-26T17:41:00.007+10:00

godamn its hot. guess what, my internet is working again! for the first time in 7 or so months. its so convenient having the net again. i spent the last day of holidays watching asian dramas, baking chocolate brownies and updating this blog all in the luxury of the wonderful air-con.

so on friday i went out with ellie, trinh, jennifer, elizabeth, julieanne, sarah, linda, basically all the girls. like everyone was out, saw heaaps of people. we went to watch 'toothfairy' with tim, william etc. then went around and did the things you usually do at city and southbank, blah blah. & yesterday i went to ellie's house and we watched 'jennifers body'. that movie is strange. no photos, couldn't be stuffed to take any.

i going out now, toodles xo

p.s, as you may have noticed, posts will be differentiated between lily and i in the blog title.

- -

all a girl really needs are her girlfriends.

you were everything, now your even less than nothing / JAZMYN

2010-01-21T13:46:00.007+10:00

The power of a relationship
lies within the one who cares less.

babybaby / JAZMYN

2010-01-19T18:54:00.002+10:00

heres to:
never lie, steal, cheat or drink.
but if you must lie, lie next to the person you love.
if you must steal, steal away from bad company.
if you must cheat, cheat death.
and if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.

in my head - jason derulo.

2010-01-16T21:00:00.001+10:00

i am like like in love with this song tuan sent me : on our own - eshan. the tune is like mad as. so wednesday i went to dreamworld with school friends and we met nacho pop, that famous hip hop choreography that choreographed dances on 'so you think you can dance america'. he's like the hottest dancer out;]

well, when i came back from sydney, my house and everything had been kinda like renovating my mum had taken down everything. so since i got bored yesterday i decided to re-do my room. love, jazmyn

before after

on our own.

2010-01-11T18:33:00.000+10:00

just a quick update - went out with angela on saturday, i hadn't seen her in like 5 months! we went city and watched "its complicated" then just went to chill at southbank. the weather was really nice, clear blue skies and everything. got an exciting week ahead, can't wait! ♥

love, jazmyn

nothing on me.

2010-01-07T08:36:00.012+10:00

so yesterday i ran away from home cause my mum was pissing the shit out of me. walked to inala, and met up with trinh and ellie, then daniel and long came. we hung out for a while till around 5, then bused to sunnybank and went to jay's house. hung around the skate park for a bit, then got home around 10pm and stayed the night at daniel's place. with my mum being a typical over-protective adult, i figured that i have two choices : i can either a) rebel or b) let her blackmail me, and become one of those depressed non-socializing people that study 24/7. option a? yeah i agree too.

being the start of a new year, everyone says how they feel like they've changed etc. i think i have aswell. last year, i strongly believed that fate was the reason behind everything. that everything happens for a reason. but now, my beliefs have changed from "every bad thing happens for a reason" to "shit happens". i still believe in fate, but not so much anymore. its just so much easier to deal with things knowing, "shit happens." but right now, life is going great ;D , i woke up one morning thinking "hes just another jerk" and my mood has completely changed. i prefer blue skies and starry nights rather than those rainy days.

sometimes you just gotta live life, cross your fingers and live for the moment. but whatever happens, never put boyfriends before your girlfriends because your girlfriends are the ones that are with you from the beginning to the end. they're the ones that you screamed your heart out to about how you just met the perfect guy, to the ones wiping away your tears, listening to you telling them for the hundredth time how he broke your heart. so this is for my girlfriends, the ones that have always been there - beginning to end (f)

here are my latest loves on my iPod that are currently on repeat.

Lullaby - Shawn Desman
just close your eyes
fall fast asleep
i'm by your side
there in your dreams
i tuck you in
you smile at me
the best of friends
yeah you and me.

Skys the limit - Jason Derulo
Girl you take me higher
then i've ever been before
my feet don't touch the floor
flyyyyyyy
the sky's the limit
the sky's the limit

Sleep Walking - Jason Derulo

I fall into your lies
I start to lose my senses
When i look in your eyes
I become defenseless
My heart you hold
and you wont let go
its so paralyzing
Girl you got control
you're so hypnotizing

love, jazmyn
p.s these songs don't represent my feelings in any way
p.p.s sorry about the big spaces, for some reason it goes really big

fingers crossed.

2010-01-06T15:31:00.004+10:00

We say it all the time - how we'd give up anything for the one we love. But sometimes I wonder, when push comes to a shove, who'd truly step up to the line. Would you take a bullet for them? What if it meant that your life would be split into a "before" and "after"? But love is only words, and as everyone knows, words don't mean a single thing. Sometimes when we don't ask questions, it's not that we're afraid they'll lie to our face, but that we're afraid they'll tell us the truth -because all it takes is an honest confession to slice the hardest heart in two.

We always dream, dream about the perfect guy or girl, dream about what it would be like if we got everything we wanted, dream about if things could be perfect : but when something is made from our dreams, anything in reality is bound to disappoint us. But we make ourselves strong, because it's expected of us. We become confident because the person next to us is unsure, we turn into the person others need us to be. We never stop hoping they'll come back, we just stop expecting it. It is easy to say you hate someone, but you cannot truly hate them until you know what it's like to be loved by them.

love, Jazmyn

addiction.

2010-01-03T18:49:00.001+10:00

i have found a new addiction : mens perfume! while i was in sydney shopping we went to myer to check out perfume and we crossed then mens section. holy shit it smells so h o t, and ever hotter on a guy. now lynx just smells cheap. these are my top 3 ;)

1. Acqua Di Gio by Giorgio Armani

2. Hot Water by Davidoff

3. Gucci by Gucci

at shayne's house right now, so i'm off.

love, jazmyn

just beautiful.

2010-01-02T21:29:00.004+10:00

Blogging on iPod touch so just a quick blog. hanging out with Daniel right now, just got off the phone with Ellie. I was just thinking about something and thought I'd blog about it. My friend tuan told me this :

" guys were born to play the game, girls were born with the game"

I didn't get it at first, but then I thought about it and I figured it's so true. LOL, anyways I'm off - going to mt cootha now.

love, jazmyn

what is a love.

2010-01-01T12:46:00.011+10:00

♪fairytales - jason derulo

HAPPY NEW YEAR /
New year resolution :

* don’t let people bring you down – stand your ground.
got back from sydney and melbourne on thursday, figured i'd spend new years in brisbane for once - time away really helped. i am extremely happy with my purchases in melbourne as i saved shitloads on boxing day sales. i spent around $500 on clothes, accessories, beauty and skin care products etc. my auntie and mum got me a ipod touch each for xmas so now i have two .__. / i bought this wallet from sportsgirl which i lovelovelove ;]

love, jazmyn

NOTICE:

2009-12-17T18:18:00.001+10:00

due to limited/no internet access of being interstate/overseas as of the 15th of December 09,
louderthanwords
would like to wish you a
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
in advance.
(L)

memories of the heart.

2009-12-14T20:53:00.002+10:00

bye brisbane - hello sydney

love, jazmyn

up, up & away.

2009-12-14T16:31:00.000+10:00

hello all. this is probably my last post before i go overseaas, hopefully theres net there. first up, malaysiaaa !

anyway, SATURDAY WAS FUN AS LOL

sarah came along with me to my church's christmas serviceee

- i forgot what happened though, here are some pics. : D

bye for not, not forever ♥

one two three.

2009-12-12T18:21:00.002+10:00

got dates mixed up - leaving for sydney on tuesday 7:00pm.

what jazmyn did today :

- got eyebrows done.

- saw a god, thats how fucking beautiful he was.

- i hate corn.

- currently getting ready for a party with girlfriends.

i'm loving life right now ♥

xo , jazmyn

empty words.

2009-12-09T17:51:00.001+10:00

SUP GEE (;

i found out, i'm going to sydney by myself on a plane at 7:00pm at night on monday. i'm scared now. anyways, went to work today. i hardly had to do anything, and i got payed. been watching this korean drama called "Full House" - its such a cute movie. really sad a times though.

going out tomorrow hopefully, last time i'm going out before i leave. my mums gonna buy me an ipod touch before i leave aswell (8. this song is from the movie above, its so adorable.

well, i was just on my way home to my aunties house right, and i was in my aunties car and my uncle was driving home aswell. so, they decided to race. they were fully into it! weaving through cars, running through yellow lights at the last minute and everything. it was scary! they went so fast , oh and we lost.

LOLOLOLOL

&

2009-12-09T14:31:00.001+10:00

Please choose between the following layouts - comment via Tagboard.

Many Thanks! xo

------------------

the joy of being happy

2009-12-08T14:55:00.048+10:00

hello! well, sorry i havent been blogging for awhile lol ; i`ve been busy D; going to make it up to you with a long as blog. well to me it seems long anyways. :)

school finished last thursday. so its holidays for me ! -grins- all you people have to go to school in the hot weather while i stay at home and do nothing in aircon (: (h) lolol , yeah well i guess home isn't that great either. it`s really boring at home , which is why i decided to blog.

thursday was the lassst day at westside - gosh i`ll miss all you guys. going to qasmt next year, im going to die there. whoopee. anywaays, i went to sizzlers that evening with some people in my youth bcos this chick is going to vietnam early & wanted a dinner thing. was sooooooooooo full afterwards. had lots and lots of icecream. (h) anyway, here a picture of philip being a retard - like always.

hmm, then on friday, i went to ct with tony, jenny, jaz, tim, tilly, gerry, nat, ben, leung, lewy & khang. we watched new moon, which i myself found to be dissappointing compared to the novel. oh well, stfu lily.

after the movie, we went to eat bcos we were all really really really hungry. then bcos jasmin's fat -kidding - she decided that we should go to nandos and buy some big meal thingy which cost like a massive $21. being the cheap asians we are, we negotiated into dividing the cost among us. we sat down and waited for ages and ages. then tim or someone pointed out that there was sex written on the wall. like wtf. and thenn, the food finally came out! you'd think that we'd start like fully pigging out but no, it was heaaaps spicy so we were slowly eating our food .. very slowly. we didn't buy drinks so leung went and bought an 8 pack of solo LOL and i dont like solo, so i bought coke :]

i really cbb to scan stickerphotos, so i took i picture instead 8D

LOVE YOU WESTSIDERS 2009: RMBR YOU ALWAYS ♥

so once friday ended, it was sn saturrday which is when i have vietschool. TT really really boring cos all that happened was handing out of certificates etc. lol, i got my second graduation certificate. i'm so happy - not. jazmyn like ditched me at 1030 so then it got reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally boring, but mum picked me & my siblings up at 11, so its all good. possible last vietschool year ever ! if it is, will miss you jazmynn ♡

nothing very interesting happened on the weekend that i can rmbr. \: haha , then um today i went to indro to get stationary / books etc becos im going overseas and will be returning within 1 day of school so i have to get things done beforehand. so much work to be done, so little time ! x( anyway, i was spose to meet jasmin at indro, but no she didn't turn uuup. err, after that my brother & his friends went to watch " cloudy and a chance of meatballs " LOL while i went shoppinnnng. and i have kfc. i love kfc. :D well thats about if for today.

x ciao bella.

keep my heart together.

2009-12-06T20:34:00.002+10:00

" cause i'm just not worth it anymore, right?
but honestly, i'm starting to think i never really was to you. "

- - -

its holidays ! dyed my hair black this afternoon :) photos soon. so about approximately 10 minutes ago, i was all smiles and everything right, then i saw something and now i'm kinda a little ' .. ' - but anyways i'm doing my best not to think about it although its gonna be on my mind 24/7 now, ah motherfucking shit.

so last thursday we went gold coast for school break up, and we saw this guy and i gotta say, he had the most beautiful eyes i have ever seen. when we saw him, we literally stopped and was like "shit.." he were like .. wow. like godamn.

night out with the sexy ladies from school -

one of my closest friends from school had her last day on friday, so we decided to go out. we went late night at city and southbank. photos below

sydney on monday, can finally get away.

close my eyes and hide.

2009-12-04T13:06:00.001+10:00

" from every wound is a scar, and every scar tells a story : a story that says, I survived. "

webcam photos (above)

here we are, once again. funny huh, how fast time flies. everyday draws you closer to a specific date, memory or event. no matter how many times you try to run away from it, it will always come back again, in some way, shape or form. every gesture, action and decision has a consequence. if it doesn't affect yourself, then it most likely affects someone around you.

neverending

2009-12-02T20:06:00.002+10:00

leave the past behind - forget it all.

live for this moment, live it as if it's your last

cos it may aswell could be, our last.

thought things were different. oh well, haha, who the fuck cares right.
: )

got me trippin'

2009-12-02T12:36:00.005+10:00

" according to you, i'm stupid, i'm useless, i can't get anything right.

but according to him, he can't get me outta his head ♪ "

- - -

1. ♪disgusting - kesha : love.this.song

2. my mum said she's gonna buy me an ipod touch, woo!

3. fell down the stairs of the auditorium yesterday and my leg hurts like a mtherfker :@

4. going to city friday night with the sexy ladies from schooliohs ♥

5. honestly, i'm so over those slow rnb jams about love, heartache and shit.

old photo : angela and jazmyn

everyday hero.

2009-12-01T10:20:00.009+10:00

" i would like to thankyou, for showing me a part of myself i've never seen. yeah we were young and dumb, but it was still fun and i guess things just fall apart sometimes. "
- - -
second hand smoke - lil eddie : such a cute song.
first day of december! last month of the year guys, tonnes of shopping this month cause of christmas and new years sales! 25 days till christmas, 29 days till new years eve, 30 days till 2010. what i really want/need for christmas : ipod touch. i lost my ipod a couple of months ago and its really starting to affect me now, ha.

do you believe in everyday heros? the one person who has always been there, but you just haven't noticed? i do. sometimes the person is the most unexpected. like, when your around them you just forget everything, absolutely everything cause they just manage to make you feel safe, and thats why when you discover that he's your everyday hero, its just so unexpected. and then everything falls into place, and you feel so silly for not realising it sooner ♥

i'm hungry now, and i have the biggest craving for something fizzy.
x

happy birthday ally !
fourteen years old aye, and we've known each other for two years now. just remember life is a journey. on the road theres always bumps and rocks that will tempt us to give up and turn back, but no matter you can't give up. its tough, and the pain will be worth it in the end. people will backstab, people will turn their back on you and people will leave when you need them most : but thats life. thats what we have to accept. i know its easy to trust people, but you have to remember trust is earned, not given.
xo, love you bitch.

old photo : ally & jazmyn

up & away.

2009-11-30T11:55:00.011+10:00

" There are reasons we met, reasons for the good times and reasons for the bad times, but most importantly reasons to an end. We have more to learn, more to experience and more loving to do in this lifetime. "

- - -

last week of school guys and then its summer holidays! means beaches, pool parties etc. i'm excited to the shit. ellie, chelcee and i are planning to hold a pool party when i move in to my new house at robertson - next to sunnybank, just so everyone knows : so book us in your schedule! (: this blog layout has gotten old and boring right? yes yes we know, so lily and i are currently working on designing a layout of our own, it'll be up and running before you know it ;) oh and good luck lily for your exam block this week! might i mention, taylor lautner has the fking hottest body a guy could have. like holy shit.

this year is drawing to a fast closure and in no time it'll be a 2010! i think everyone wants this year to be over as soon as possible. new year = chance for a new start. 09 has been full of shit, but so much has been learnt aswell. supposedly close friends have walked out as new ones have entered. something to keep in mind: let go of those once "best friends" who have chosen to distance themselves from you, because they're trying to make perfectly clear they don't want you and they don't need you or your friendship like they use too.. / before new years, i'm planning to dye my hair black again as a gesture of change.

I think i would seriously die without air-con, whoever invented it is a mtherfking genius.

let me be me.

2009-11-29T20:34:00.006+10:00

" sometimes it takes a broken heart, to discover something even better is right in front of your eyes, just waiting to be found. "

- - -

HAPPY BIRTHDAY THERESA (:

maybe, someday.

2009-11-27T10:12:00.012+10:00

If you dress nicely, he says you're a snob. If you dress sexy, he says you're a slut. If you argue with him, he says you're stubborn. If you're quiet, he says you're stupid. If you call him, he says you're needy and clingy. If he calls you, he says you should be grateful. If you don't love him, he'll try to win you. If you love him, he'll leave you. If you don't fuck him, he'll say you don't love him. If you do, he'll say you're easy. If you tell him your problems, he'll say you're irritating. If you don't, he'll say you don't trust him. If you lecture him, he'll say you're bitchy. If he lectures you, it's because he "cares". If you break a promise, you can't be trusted. If he breaks it, he had to. If you cheat, he'll expect it to be over. If he cheats, he expects to be given another chance.
x

queen of hearts.

2009-11-26T11:36:00.011+10:00

" I cried today.. not because I miss you.. or even wanted you.. but because I realized I'm gonna be all right without you. "

- - -

hey guys, sorry for the absence, i just went through a neutral stage where i didn't have feelings to blog. i still dont i guess, i just see things differently now (: so whats been happening - been living the laidback life since a week and a half ago cause of end of assessment. ellie and chelcee stayed the night on saturday : we're gonna have a actual 1am party next time because only one person was willing to climb through a window at 1am in morning on our all-night, rotfl. i must say a huge thankyou to ellie, chelcee and lily. you guys are the reason i am who i am today. thankyou to my school friends for helping through my day-to-day dilemmas. big shoutout to shayne - because of your "reaction" to it, i see things in a total different way now. thankyou! ♥

one step forward then two steps back

2009-11-26T06:11:00.010+10:00

love lily / x.

Right then left,

Up then down,

Black then white,

Right then wrong,

Truth then lie,

Friends then enemies,

Please make up your mind, because I’ve had enough,

And to be honest, now, I don’t even care.

candle in the wind.

2009-11-23T12:22:00.061+10:00

blog shall be dead for awhile,

jazmyn and i will not be blogging due to personal reasons, don't ask.

also i have exam block commencing the in this following week.

            x 22 days and im out of australia ,
            x 10 days and im out of school ,
            x 8 days and im in exams (: !

also want to say a thank you to sarah nguyen, without you i`d probably die. haha , thanks so much for all your help with assignments and everything this year ! i procrastinate so much, and its only with your help that i get all my things done so i thought i'd give you some credit ; thank you !

i also have a story to tell you in photos , in happened at church haha so funny/ adorable at the time, hope you fine it as hilarious as i did. lmao !

its called: the little pink girl and the little green elf

Just like to make a special thank you
for those in my church who contributed into
making this story possible .

The little pink girl says," Hello , im a cute little girl. come stalk me".

" Oi look, i found a little green elf with 2 cherry ripes ! I want some !", she says.

The little pink girl thinks to herself and wonders what he'd trade it for.

The little green elf thinks she wants some, so he offers her one.

"Here have one," says the little green elf.

"Oh why thank you kind litttle green elf, what a generous offer," says the little pink girl.

"Look at what I have," said the little pink girl.

Hmm ... I think this is just too nice. I'll have to give it back until i have something to trade, thought the little pink girl.

"Here you go, it's alright, you can have it," said the little pink girl.

"But .. no ! Please, have both!" said the little green elf.

Aww, i think i like this little green elf, thought the little pink girl.

Oh wow, she's hot ! Asif im giving it to this little pink girl.

I guess, not all elfs are really what they seem, thought the little pink girl ...

love, lily / x

i dont fight, without a reason.

2009-11-16T18:55:00.016+10:00

HE LEFT - SO PROVE TO HIM YOUR GONNA BE FINE WITHOUT HIM..
JAZMYN.

unreachable.

2009-11-15T14:00:00.003+10:00

as you all know, i attended a wedding last night - a perfect place to take tonnes of photos with friends and family right ?

WELL I FORGOT MY MEMORY CARD ;( / so that resulted in me not having any photos from the actually wedding, but i did take photos at home ! 8) here are some pictures of what i wore :)

JAZMYN

truth is ,

2009-11-13T16:10:00.013+10:00

If to live well is to live without regret, then I do not live well. - Lily Pham

its all the little things you do.

2009-11-12T12:05:00.004+10:00

我痛苦，因为我在乎你 ..

- - -

SUP GEE (8

had tri-fit today, i guess you get use to it after a while so it wasn`t that bad. my cousins from sydney came down last night, so they dropped by to say hi before leaving to spend the night at my aunties. me and my mum like cleaned the whole house aswell cause my grandparents are coming back tomorrow apparently!

i couldn`t sleep last night.. because of something that was bothering me.. but i don`t want to be all like asdfghjkl, so i`m just going to pretend its nothing (: i`ve been behind on gossip girl due to assignements and-so-forth, so i occupied my mind by catching up on them - i watched season 3 ; episode 7, 8 and 9 :) still couldn't sleep :/ so i watched The Vampire Diaries : episode 5 & 6 / listened to some music afterwards hoping it`ll help me fall asleep, kinda did - but not till like 2:38am. thinking of going late night tonight, but then again, guess no reason to. i must apologize for the lack of photos lately, just haven't been out. but there will sure to be lots of photos this saturday :)

- - - -

♪self- inflicted - attozio

I know you're not healthy for me(for me)
I need to cure myself, cause you're like a disease(ohuh)

Soon as a bit of () to leave

And there i go,letting you back in

And forgivin' what you did, like it never had been

It's like drivin' on the wrong side of the road

It's like walking outside, standing in the cold(cooold)

its like knowin` the right answer, still choosing wrong ..

♥ l o v e . J

if we met under another sky.

2009-11-11T14:25:00.005+10:00

i smile but i cry,

i forget but i remember.

JAZMYN

2009-11-10T16:05:00.000+10:00

hello all, all hello.

THIS IS JO JO , ISNT SHE ADORABLE ? !

she's even better when she actually moves ;D

well i can't rmbr exactly everything that happend today. infact, i cant rmbr much at all. i shall tell you what i do rembr though. (: ok so in maths it was soooo boringggggggg ! like i didn't know maths could get boring-er than it already was, but God was today's math lesson boring. we had a sub teacher & he couldnt teach math for shit. --

i forgot what happend after maths.

lily

make-believe.

2009-11-10T09:50:00.010+10:00

" TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS "

"To Write Love on Her Arms" is a non-profit charity movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.

support by writing "LOVE♥" on your arms today.

piano exam was postponed - so i had to go to school, how gay >;] yesterday went with mum to get her hair dyed, i was so tired when i got home i went to sleep till like 10 : but then i couldn`t sleep after, so i worked on my piano composition :) its going alright, a little rusty still though.

just something cute to try:

put your hands together so your palms are touching and your fingers are facing towards the sky

then fold your two middle fingers down

move your palms apart slightly so they aren`t touching : everything else says the same - fingers still touching, middle fingers still folded down.

- - -

ok so, each finger has a different meaning when wearing a ring.
thumb: parents | index: brothers and sisters | middle: best friends | fourth: love | pinky: children

your two thumbs are really easy to move apart because they represent your parents: when you grow up you`ll separate from them to create your own family. /

your two index fingers are also easy to move apart because they represent your brothers and sister: when you grow up you`ll separate to create your own family. /

your two pinky's are easy to move apart because they represent your children: they too will grow up and separate from you to create their own family. /

but your fourth fingers, are impossible to most apart. because they represent the love of your life, and they`ll stick by your side, forever.

♥

aww, isn`t it cute. but i guess its easier to actually show then said, ha. well i`m off, takecare :)

love, jazmyn

and this is how we roll ;)

2009-11-09T12:12:00.007+10:00

ROFLROFL. IM IN ICT ATM, AND THE FUNNIEST THING JUST HAPPENED :L

ok, i`ll explain 8D well, our group went out to get a drink. and me and jaz came back early. well steven went on jenn's computer and googled a picture of cuc .. -- and well , he put it as her background. and she came back and closed her thingy down and saw it. she spazzed so muchhh :L BHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHA - ok so maybe you`d only geddit if you were there.

btw matilda is awsome! - says her.

oh oh oh and something reaaaaaaaaally freaky happened. there is this dude in my class called tim, not jen's bf btw. and was like RIGHT behind me and reading what i wrote 10 seconds ago. until my friends shooed him away. i think he`s scared now. (: aren't we the nicest ? haha, now another dude's stalking matilda. (:

nanana, oh and like last week was epicccc. we had sex ed and tilda's mum came in. and brought her joey ! (: jojo is so cuteeeeeee shes like so small and adorable. no one had a camera then but heres a picture that tilda has. ( to be posted .. )

thenn, after sex ed right, these girls .. had .. a condom ._. and they blew it up .. looked like a balloon D: okok, so you`d obviously want to knw that wouldnt you ..

and and and, stevennn got introublee ; na na na na na na / puts on a kiddy voice. yeah well he called this teacher a fucking bitch when she told him to cut his hair and now his got an arvo and a detention everyday until he does. and you ask, why doesnt he just cut his hair ? well hes gay, thats why.

my hair got dyed so many times last week, its dead. it was like blonde, then orange, then red, then purple & now its black.

JAZMYN DIDNT COME VIETSCHOOL ! ;(

ANYWAY, i glazed my pot before, in arttttt. i`ll take a picture of it when i have an available camera. 8) my friends and i also had a deep conversation with our ict teacher before before. forgot what most of it was about but did you know teacher get free coffee ?! unfair right ? yeah, thought so too.

/ love lily.

got me running in circles.

2009-11-09T11:41:00.008+10:00

rainrainrain, its raining ! i aboslutely love rain (: yesterday i spent like ages on my sose assignment which i finished, amazingly. i skipped tutor aswell. got ready for cousins party, it was alright i guess. i wore my new white dress i bought from bardot. got home at like 12:00 so now i`m like tired as. my mum said she's gonna buy me new heels for saturday ! so i`ve been shopping online again, here are some i reakon are sexy but i wanna get this pair from a shop at the city which are like sexy times mcfkingsexy *drools

♪ distancer - lil eddie.

Insane, won't let you drive me insane

Already on the border line I can't turn more crazy (No)

You've change

Why did I ever rearrange

my whole entire life with you

But you don't Invest in me (No)

I been runnin' miles around my head tryin' to figure out was it something I did

But you made it now so evident your no damn good for me

You made love you from a distance

This was the last thing I wanted

I'm missin you babe but I'm so over it
the only way to get back to me
is love you from a distance
toodles x - jazmyn

bittersweetness of love.

2009-11-08T13:45:00.013+10:00

我在玻璃呼吸，并且写"我爱你", 但是不久，它消失 ..

last night, i had to attempt to explain to my mum what it means when you call someone "hot". it was hard, haha. right now, i`m starving my friggen ass off. oh my grandparents didnt come back again #@$%^#$%.

to do : dye hair / get $40 by tuesdaay !
--

tonight: cousins party - starts 8:30pm
monday: sose assignment due

tuesday: not going school - piano exam / shopping

thursday: late night anyone?

friday: gonna watch dramas all night (:

saturday: wedding, @ landmark.

- - - -
the point of where my life is right now, i think is a basis. i`ve realised my weakness, so i have to keep myself physically occupied 24/7 so my mind won`t reminisce about the past. i think thats the only thing thats keeping me down right now - the past and its memories. i guess it`ll take time to accept the things that have happened, but when a door closes and new and better one opens right?

♪ broken- taj jackson
I can change the channel every time our show comes on

and get mad at the radio cause they just played your favourite song
i can find another girl and try to love you out of my life
but it just gets harder every time i try

Can't you see I'm broken
And it's hurting me girl, cause you just left me broken
You just left me broken
Because of you, I don't know if I can love again

I can take the pictures down we took
And throw them all away
Every letter you wrote, I'll forget what you have to say
Cause I'll never understand what you did to me that day
That's the only part of me I wish I can replace
love, j ♡

the static between us.

2009-11-06T10:22:00.006+10:00

i had the best sleep yesterday! there was light rain and fell asleep to listening to " concrete - james fauntleroy " such a pretty song :) mum made an appointment to get eyebrows done tomorrow ;O going airport tomorrow to pick up grandparents aswell, i like love the airport. When i stand looking out the window to all the planes taking off, i can`t help but wonder what it`ll be like if i was the one leaving you know? to get away from everything. not planning to go anywhere these holidays yet, so until further notice this year will be my first christmas and new years in brisbane since 2006 :) `06, `07, and `08 i`ve spent it in sydney. shopping down there is friggen awesome x10 by the way.

ohh, i decided to continue with the song i wrote on piano. i`ve done the verse, chorus and lyrics already, now working on the bridge :)

---

♪ Far from home - Taj jackson ft. Martin K

was it miscommunication

or just a mistake to think that you could be with me

when you closed the door behind you

i just didnt kno you needed that much room to breathe

i was standing till you fell

and i tried to catch them all

but you never took the time to see

you just dont understand

what you have in your hand

cause noone loves you more than me.

loveJ.♡

skip a thousand beats.

2009-11-05T12:36:00.004+10:00

omg i`m dead. for P.E we had tri-fit - swimming, biking, and running. altogether we did around 5 km in 45 minutues. we have this 3 times a week, every week for the rest of the year ! i`m gonna die - literally. after school this breaka truck was like giving out free chocolate breaka`s, woo free stuff. exciting week ahead ! went with my mum to get her hair done, she got it permed and going back next week to get it dyed. grandparents are coming back from overseas on saturday for real this time ! they were suppose to come back like 4 months ago. cousins are coming down from sydney around tuesday for the wedding next saturday, so means hardcore shopping x) speaking about shopping, i was doing some online shopping again as i have been like everyday :L , i found some more that i`m planning to get aswell along with the clothes from the post a few days ago. my mum said she`ll order all of them for me ! here are some more :)

---

its funny how you can feel a emotion, but at the same time you could feel the total opposite ..

you feel like your mad at them for never trying, but you can never stay mad at them for long.

you feel like you just want to break down and cry, but you don`t want to show them that your weak.

you feel like you can`t smile ever again, but you do just for those around you.

you feel like you want to break this silence, but you know its probably better this way.

you feel like you hate them for the things they did, but you can`t find it inside of you to hate them.

but most of all you hate yourself, for letting them do this to you.

that you were the one that was left standing in the rain.

that you were the one constantly stabbed through the heart over and over again.

you hate yourself for not having the strength to turn around and walk away when it wasn`t too late.

♡ / jazmyn

lost footage.

2009-11-04T09:41:00.001+10:00

i woke up today to hear "kiss the rain" playing in the background

a wave of emotion rushed over me
memories flickered through my mind

then i realised today was the fourth of the month.

---

burn those love letters.

2009-11-03T14:25:00.002+10:00

when your walking in the street, sitting at the park or looking out the window and you see a girl and guy hanging out and they seem happy, do you ever wonder how they got to be that happy? like, if they had to go through hurt and pain before they got to the happiness?

♪ Hard to breathe - Nikki Flores
---
My chest is caving in, someone help me
I need some life support, can't take this anymore
Loving with caution cause my heart's so weak
I've been a victim of love and you're the criminal
I counted on you, but you refused to save me
and my heart failed
How am I suppose to breathe (breathe)
When all my heart does is bleed
But you're just too stupid to see
You're making it hard for me
(So hard for me)

xo , j

fmlfmlfml

2009-11-03T10:17:00.000+10:00

heyheyhey, fml fml fml. (: i hate my life. i came to school in a really bad mood. then well, it didn't get any better lets just say. im in computer studies atm ; i hope i can get some chocolate soon. chocolate ! x)

It Ain't Over - Jon Young ♪

much love, lily.

im sorry .. \:

you took something perfect, and painted it red.

2009-11-02T11:53:00.011+10:00

boy : I was the one who got slapped in the face. I was the one who got hurt that night because you were too stupid to run out like that. I was the one who almost died.

girl : i`m .. sorry .. i won`t bother you anymore then .. -starts crying and walks away-

boy : -pulls her back and hugs her-

I was the one who got slapped in the face, but that only showed me that you cared. I was the one who got hurt because of your stupidity, but that only showed how much I would do for you. I was the one who almost died, but I would die a million times just to save you.

--
♪ surrender - D. brown

hello hello.

firstly i`d like to say what is with my dreams lately ?! is it not enough that that person tortures me in reality but has to torture me in my dreams aswell ? asdfghjkl. maybe its some kinda message from God :/

anyways, you guys should read red lavender - by anika and white calli lillies (sequel to red lavender) - by anika. its such a sweet story ! but so sad at some parts. cried like 69 times.

photo above: that concludes my shopping for the weekend (:

wells, saturday morning i woke up not being in the best state possible because of my .. emotions ? so i stayed home instead of going to viet school and as predicted lily was like :@ ASDFHJKL. i promise to go next week lils :) asked my mum if we could go shopping because like, it makes me feel better & she said yes! so i got ready and stuff, then my auntie randomly came and gave me $200 to go shopping :| thats like the first time anyone has given me over $50 for clothes.. i was like, too shocked to speak. so then we went DFO Jindalee. i didn`t want to use all the money for myself so i bought my auntie and mum something. spent the rest at various stores including Dissh which is like the friggen best shop ever.

photo above: ft. Daniel

saturday night went out to buffet garden for my aunties birthday. maybe thats why she gave me money for shopping ^o) went to her house first, and took photos with Daniel for a while. then left for foood :) we ordered this cake specially made for $88 as a surprise, and the buffet people brang it out with the whole birthday music and everything aswell. it was like the pretties cake i`ve ever seen ;O

everyone went to go somewhere after, but me and daniel just went home.

end of jazmyn`s weekend.

love, j/

try to fight - one chance ♪

2009-11-01T12:56:00.003+10:00

well, my week was the most stressfullest week ever. i had a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sose assignment + oral and a friggin piano exam. hence didn't go on msn / blog etc etc. i'm pretty sure i failed my piano exam too. (n)

then yesterday i went to vietschool. jazmyn didn't show up cos shes gay like that. so i went with tony and his friends. and and thien raped some little ~~fat~~ kid with a red hat. the kid started screaming (: and then he ran off :L bt yeeee, thats pretty much all i can rmbr x)

to do : put up sydney photos from ages ago :D

love, lily

GUESS WHAT ? I FOUND OUT THAT I MET SARAH IN 1996 IN SYDNEY. [ PARENTS WERE TALKING ABOUT IT AT DINNNER O: ]

i surrender, white flag in the air.

2009-10-30T21:13:00.007+10:00

968 27653 69 53278 7686 2 6455466 743237, 669 6`6 276536.

4 2268 5683 968 2686673.

j/.

i gave up everything for you. after all we`ve been through, am i really just nothing to you ? do i really mean that little to you ?
i can`t describe, how much i`m hurting. i can`t describe the feeling thats piercing right through my heart.
i can`t explain how it feels to go through each day knowing the things you did to me. i can`t explain how many times it goes around in my head.
The countless tears that fall, the endless reminders of the pain, the never-ending heartache I go through .. does it really mean nothing to you at all? i can`t do it anymore, if i keep going like this, then whats the point in breathing.
Everyday it seems like your stabbing me right now my chest over and over again. Do you have any idea how it feels like ?
i have to literally hold myself together otherwise i`ll just break ..
you know what, you win. i`m finally torn apart over you.

this love, fading.

2009-10-30T11:57:00.005+10:00

Quite storm - Claude Kelly

It's only a paper cut
But it feels like a knife

It's only a moment

But it feels like my life

It's always the little things that slip through

And take you by surprise

When you don't call

When you stay gone

When you don't say everything you're thinking

Try to be strong

Try to brush off

And pretend that nothing in me's breaking

But inside it hits like thunder

Inside the tears rise up like a flood

I'm gonna smile like nothing's wrong

But it feels like the quiet storm
And it hurts more than you'll ever know
Cause it feels like a quite storm.

---

went to inala after school yesterday, and i saw someone .. its been around 4-5 weeks since i last saw them? there was no point, so i turned around and walked away.

went late night at indooroopilly afters. was looking for a dress for the wedding but wasn`t really in the mood cause of what happened at inala. instead i just ended up buying this cocktail dress for bardot :) decided to look at some clothes online and omg i found such pretty tops and dresses ! these are my favourite ones, and i`m planning to save up heaps and get them x)

( photos below )

those are the Autumn/Winter 09 collection. there so pretty ! i`m thinking about getting the dress in photo 2 or photo 3 for the wedding :) which do you reakon i should get ? ;O

casual shirt/jumpers.

i`m feel tonnes better right now, i`m like hardcore excited ! ;O / i can`t wait to get my clothessssss x)

love, j / xo

can you see my heart, bleeding.

2009-10-29T11:18:00.004+10:00

" i would do anything for these feelings to disappear.

because i know if i could just move on from you, i`d be happy. "
--

Keep forgetting you (to forget about you) - JoJo

Thinking back when we got together
In our hearts we were saying forever

So in love, boy we were so in love, mmm

Jealousy wasn't what we wanted, we broke up

And when you looked into my eyes I should of spoke up

And held you near, then I wouldn't be alone

And here it comes again

Cause I remember every word that you said

It all just keeps spinning around in my head

But it don't matter what I try to do

I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't want to think about you baby so much

All the things we did and the way that we touched

Just when I think about someone new

I keep on forgetting to forget about you

Forget about you, forget about

Watch me turn around and forget, forget about you

Forget about me and you

I would be crazy to say that we were perfect

And sometimes I was wondering if it was worth it

But now I see, how could you run from me?

And everytime I drive by your apartment

I get this overwhelming urge to walk in

And see your face and to be in that place all over again.

-----

has anyone realised that life is all about waiting? waiting for a certain day to come, waiting for the bus, waiting for the holidays, waiting for these unwanted feelings to disappear, waiting for him to understand, waiting for him to realise ..

anyways, the weather these days have made everyone really moody don`t you reakon. its hot yet cloudy :/ but i love it when it rains :) espcially at night. it feels as though its washing away all the things that have gone wrong out of my life. but then again, when it stops they`re still there. i love just sitting by the window at night, watching the rain .. thinking, reminiscing about the days, which make you smile but sad at the same time. times like these, you just let your mind think about the things you`ve been trying not to think about. and let your heart pour out. smiling at the memories, while tear drops start to fall. wondering what it`ll feel like if that someone was by your side right now, watching the rain, and reminiscing with you.

love, j

this perfect mess.

2009-10-27T10:15:00.002+10:00

not going school tomorrow ! going shopping with mum to find a dress for a wedding instead :)

toodles x / j

don`t forget to leave my heart behind.

2009-10-26T09:34:00.005+10:00

" Where my heart still is, I admit I'm not too sure.
When the sky starts to cry, I become reminiscent and lonely.

Although I like to think I've moved on, I can't help but think that

I shouldn't have let go, I should've held on tighter.

The beginning was so pure, pubescent and untainted.

When a person is gone, should you miss him or remember him?

If you miss him, do you look back at old pictures and cry?

If you remember him, do you think of the tone of his voice, his laughter?

Do you think back to the conversations between you and him? "

- conversations between us

i can`t do it with you here. i can`t forget the past when your around. i hate hurting about it when you don`t even remember it. knowing i`ll never be good enough even as a friend for you to fight for me, is enough to make me fianlly realise i`ve been wasting my time. throughout these 5 months, i`ve only been your rebound, but i can`t anymore. i waited for you, i waited for you to change but you made it clear that it was never going to happen. yeah, tears still seem to fall when i think about you, and yeah my heart still aches everytime someone says your name, but i can`t give in. i have to be strong. you were able to forget about us, so overtime, i should be able too.

----

finished reading linked to you - anika. its a really sweet story about a simple attraction, which turned into happiness and love, then heartbreak and pain, then back to love. it has a happy ending, but really sad at some parts throughout the story. cried so much while reading it, mainly cause i could relate to some of the feelings expressed. if only there was guy like "Seo DaeYong" in the world. he never stopped fighting for the one he loved .. but i guess guys like that only exist in stories.

old song : but expresses my feelings i guess.

it takes more - jordin sparks

Tell me what happened this time
Made you come back again

I find out only see you when luck deserts you

If this is your idea of happiness

Then let's be clear

Those words of yours ain't working anymore

Cause i'm always giving

Here waiting while you're living

I need a new beginning

Oh, i'm not the girl i used to be with you

You think maybe that i'm just so easy

You can come in and out my life like you please

But baby no (uh-oh)

Don't you know it takes more

To keep a girl like me

No more waiting for you to change

Don't you know that you bringing flowers

Won't stop the rain baby no, no (uh-oh)
Don't you know it takes more

You're the only one not worth waiting for

I know you're busy so if you gotta go

Then go but don't forget to leave my heart

I stayed around for you but

You're no where to be found now

Once again here you are

Cause i'm always giving

Here waiting while you're living

I need a new beginning

Oh, i'm not the girl i used to be with you

You think maybe that i'm just so easy

You can come in and out my life like you please

But baby no (uh-oh)

Don't you know it takes more

To keep a girl like me

No more waiting for you to change

Don't you know that you bringing flowers

Won't stop the rain baby no-no (uh-oh)

Don't you know it takes more

You're the only one not worth waiting for

I've settled for less

When i stayed with you but no more

Cause you aint worth waiting for, ooh, uuuuh

You think maybe that i'm just so easy

You can come in and out my life like you please

But baby no (uh-oh)

Don't you know it takes more

(don't you know it takes much more)

To keep a girl like me

No more waiting for you to change

(waiting for you, no, no, no, no)

Don't you know that you bringing flowers
Won't stop the rain baby no-no (uh-oh)

Don't you know it takes more

You're the only one not worth waiting for

(uh-oh) don't you know it takes more

(uh-oh) don't you know it takes much more

You're the only one not worth waiting for

You think maybe that i'm just so easy

You can come in and out my life like you please

But baby no

Don't you know it takes much more

No-no, no more waiting for you to change

Don't you know that you bringing flowers

Won't stop the rain, no, oh

Don't you know it takes much more, oh

love, j

another chance to prove a forever.

2009-10-25T13:14:00.002+10:00

i love you is a 8 letter word but so is B U L L S H I T.

cherish every moment, embrace every opportunity. make the most of every chance you get, because one day it could disappear.

Don`t live in the future, nor live in the past. Because when you`re too busy planning the future, you lose whats happening right now. That’s the biggest mistake i`ve made, yet the biggest lesson i`ve learned.

-----

25th of October 2009, 3:04am

from this day, i`m going to forget the past.

from this day, i`m gonna smile like theres nothing wrong.

from this day, i`m going to believe again.

from this day, i`m going to make the most of living this lie.

love, jazmyn

p.s congratulations to ellie and gerard ♥ prove that forever can exists. x

my heart`s still in your hands.

2009-10-23T09:52:00.001+10:00

mood: excited for the weekend !

did you know, blueberries are addictive ? i`ve never really like eaten them before, then last night there were some in the fridge so i took one and ate it. then one turned into two, then three and so on. until it was all gone ! ;O spent the afternoon reading all it takes - by vietgirl604. wattpad.com is a really good site that has lots of cute little stories, including conversations between us. i was like hungry, so i went to make noodles and a cup of hot chocolate (: mmmm .. again, the hot chocolate was like super sweet and i had a sore throat for like the whole night. talked on the phone for a while, then watched beauty and the geek on tv while doing some piano theory papers i had due the next day. no wonder it took me like 2 hours to do them .. my procrastinating ways take over 85% of my study time ;O

tomorrows saturday ! omg i can`t wait till the weekend. movie all nighter on saturday with some friends, then going to movies on sunday haha.

i`m gonna get back to my reading now. its friggen addictive !

toodles x

trying to fight it.

2009-10-22T08:59:00.005+10:00

i finished reading Little Vietnamese Girl - by Thao yesterday. aww, it has such a cute happy ending (:

-----

Emotions are a dangerous thing. They're like little children, innocent and naive. And when we're in love for the first time, they run wild like children in the park on a Sunday afternoon, full of energy and vigor, boundless and unrestrained.

But if a little girl was to fall, a bad fall, no one sees this poor girl. She looks up at the other children and hears their laughter. She cries as all little girls do but she stops after awhile, not wanting to dampen the other children’s' happiness. So she sits and waits, hoping for someone to help her up.

A boy came and offered his hand; she began to smile as the sadness of a child never lasts long. She takes his hand and they take a few tentative steps, but as she began to put her weight on him the boy let go and she crumpled onto the grass again. The boy laughed, for he was only a bully.

The little girl was sad, but somewhere inside her she knew it was too good to be true and shrugged it off. She rested for awhile, then limped painfully towards a tree and sat in the shade. She’s tired now and her leg hurts too much, she doesn’t want to run around in the park anymore.

The day went on and although she was still hurting, she no longer cried, just rested and waited for the pain in her leg to subside. Indeed after awhile she feels much better. She thinks she’s completely recovered. She stands up but as she tried to take a few steps on her own she crumpled like a rag doll. The little girl realizes her leg is broken. So she sits under the tree and watches the other children play. She saw some of them trip and fall and remembers her own pain. She thinks to herself, "how dangerous it is to run around the park without control or restrain...” She decides to build a wall around herself. She never wants to get hurt again.

She sits in her brick wall alone with her thoughts. She wonders when she'll dare to run again, from time to time she would sit on the wall and swing her legs, trying to enjoy herself and contemplating whether she had the courage to run again. Some children came along to encourage her but each time she came close to jumping off the wall back into the playground, the memory of her fall would return and she would retreat to the inner sanctity of her tiny fortress.

So there she hid, till one day she heard some scraping noises, as if someone else was building a wall. She peered over her wall and true enough there was a little boy, building his own wall, sadness in his eyes. She wondered if he had fallen just like her, while he was running careless and free. She watches the boy complete the wall and when he did so, he peered curiously at her before disappearing behind his own wall. The little girl wondered what the boy was thinking and one day the boy called out to her from behind his wall and she replies from behind her wall.

They begin to talk, in small muffled voices at first, and then clearer, as each of them removed a brick from their respective walls. Soon they became friends, and his voice was a comfort to her. But each time she removed a new brick, the light which flooded her hiding place frightened her and she was tempted to replace it. But also, with each new brick she removed, the sounds of the other children’s laughter enticed her and she realized she wanted to run like before. But not alone lest she fall again. She wondered if the boy felt the same and thought about what she would do if the boy asked her to run with him. Again.

love, jazmyn

couldn't stay away.

2009-10-21T17:01:00.002+10:00

Well, Sydney was alright. Harbour bridge & opera house is so pretty at sunset ! got lots of food everwhere I went. 8) it was so friggin cold though ! ._. note : shall post photos at a later date as I can't be bothered posting them atm. (:

Oh, and I won’t be blogging for awhile after this – most likely – due to science, ict, two english and two sose assignments.

L ♥

afraid to fall again.

2009-10-21T11:40:00.004+10:00

mood: wondering /

well, i`m currently reading Little Vietnamese Girl - by Thao. its a pretty cute little story, reminds me of someone. actually, it reminds me of that person a lot haha. confirmed all plans for this weekend (: now i just need money .. shit.

-----

at times its hard. hard not knowing what the future awaits for us. trying to figure out which is the right road that will lead us to our final destination. so many times we try, but so many times we fall. over time, the scratches and bruises leave scars and we`re afraid to keep trying incase we fall over again. but no matter what, we have to find the strength from within to pick ourselves up and keep going.

taio cruz - keep going

J A Z M Y N

x o

it takes more.

2009-10-20T11:33:00.003+10:00

went out quite a lot this long weekend, so therefore todays post will contain lots of pictures (: /

saturday : ellie came over to pick up some stuff she left at my house and while she was there, asked my mum if i could go out ;O eventually she said yes ! so she dropped me and ellie at inala to bus. chelcee came laters, then missed our bus so went to meet elizabeth, trinh, jennifer etc. the bus like wasn`t gonna come in ages so went back to chelcee`s house to get some stuff. tsk tsk, its a secret ;) then walked to bustop again and the bus was like 40 minutes late :@ got to city eventually, and went karaoke (: then i went homeeeee.

Monday : first, went out to southbank to give a birthday present to Celeste from schooliohs (:

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y B A B E x

went to watch a movie at southbank cinemas for her birthday, then went to meet up with chelcee, trinh and linda. ferried back to city to meet up with jennifer, elizabeth and theresa (: took photos at tops then walked back to southbank again with chelcee ;O met up with everyone again then just like sat around the pool and took photos x) time to go home at 4pm.

lovelovelove,

JAZMYN / x o

cant live this life.

2009-10-18T11:04:00.000+10:00

you have to understand that this was never your fault. everything happens for a reason, and things turned out the way they did not because of you. my feelings are not important, and i don`t want them to affect you. i don`t want them to make you feel as tho you have to restrain your decisions and actions. i will be okay. i have dealt with it for months, and i`m use to it now. i don`t want to be the reason why. i want you to pursue your wishes, and dreams. just remember, this was never your fault / please understand that A ..

♫ substitute - unknown.

2009-10-16T09:23:00.002+10:00

stayed up till 2:38am last night just listening to this song. the song that i had been trying to avoid all this time.

j / x o

from a distance - elliot yamin

2009-10-14T16:33:00.002+10:00

GOING TO SYDNEY TODAAAAAY. (H)

read conversations betwen us by solangel. its a really cute and sweet story & if you dont cry after you've read it all i swear you must be a robot. that, or maybe a guy. (:

all thats left are these empty frames.

2009-10-14T09:46:00.005+10:00

" i saw your reflection next to me, but then you disappeared .. "

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty. He said .. no.

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever .. and he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said ..

" You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever.

And I wouldn't cry if you walked away .. I'd die .. "

♥

love, jazmyn

what happened to our happily ever after.

2009-10-13T11:50:00.005+10:00

its like 12:06am and i`m sitting here with a cup of hot chocolate. mmm, its like the best hot chocolate i`ve ever made but its hardout sweet as so i have like a sore throat now. ohh, yesterday i went to a restaurant and i saw this chick who had the hottest superman hoodie outt. it was like blue in the middle part, red arm sleeve thingys, and a red hoodie and was blue on the inside. omg, i want it >;]

steff came back from korea yesterdaay and she bought me a present ! isn`t it cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. (:

*10 things about jazmyn you may or may not know / Part 1

1. my friends keep me breathing , cant imagine a life without them x

2. i trust and believe things waaaaay too easily

3. i live by the saying "everything happens for a reason"

4. i believe in fate

5. i can`t live without shopping

6. my dad watches over me from heaven ♥

7. i survive through tough times by having H O P E

8. my prefered liquid intake is V

9. i use songs to express my feelings

10. i`m waiting for him to do something amazing and prove me wrong ..

hm, i`m starting to get into the habit of staying up late at night just to think. sometimes it seems like it would be easier if he just knew the truth about how i felt, but i guess at the end of the day it wouldnt make a difference to him. everyday is a new day, and i`ve learnt to cherish every moment of it because you never know when the person closest to you, could become a distant stranger. you never know when the person you thought would always stay, could turn their back on you. when the person who said you meant everything to them, gives you up for someone else.

♥
love, jazmyn

you couldn`t weather the storm, so you left me the rain.

2009-10-12T11:51:00.004+10:00

" was it easy ? to just forget about me like that ?

was it easy ? to give up everything we had ? "

well, first of all i got a wedding invitation yesterday (: meaaans i get to go shopping for a new dress ! *smiles*

last night was daniels 19th birthday family dinner. his birthday cake said 18 / L O L

i think he`s gonna have a bbq for his birthday next weekend too ;O

anyways, the photo below is with his girlfriend, momoko. (:

OH and i`m thinking about getting this phone, because it looks sexy ;)

and my day concluded with a camwhoring session as seen below (left) / old random photo i found of me from august ? (right)

LOVE, JAZMYN

ps. i`m feeling a lot better than i have been. thankyou to all of you who were there for me / you know who you`s are. can`t imagine my life without yous. x

pss. never give up your friendships for love, because when you realise forever doesnt exist in love, who will be there to catch you when you fall.

let the rain fall down.

2009-10-11T13:58:00.003+10:00

JUST NEVER BEEN GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU ..

____________________________________________________

i`d like to say congratulations to tony and lily (:

hope you guys last forever ♥

_
&
new msn : jzmyn_@hotmail.com

mynameislily.

2009-10-11T09:22:00.001+10:00

i love tony ly, (:

tenth of october 101009 ♥

dreamscometrue,right?

2009-10-10T00:00:00.001+10:00

well well well, my school day started off with english where we had to re-enact scences from the script The Merchant of Venice By Shakespere. most just cbf and watched everyone else\:

morning tea : my can of pepsi got stolen by gerard, sucks my school doesnt sell coke.

then came business and leung starting being all pro at rubix-cubing. D: we all had to do cash accounting shit - while looking up shoes .__." and reading the story Conversations Between Us By Solangel . in the end, jaz and jenny ended up printing out my work to hand in cos they weren't listening. :L hope the teacher doesnt find out .. lol .

well, then i went to check the notice board & found out about awards thingys and i only got a high achievemnt. TT parents raged cos ive been gettnig academic excellences every year since gr 5. they are ok now cos of naplan results aha, bt yeah. naplan : 10 for all except writing and spelling which were 9's.

then came lunch, boughts lots of food and more pepsi. and more got stolen .. guess who stole it .. gerard. == :L then um me jaz ben & khang played tieng len / 13 after eating and writing out sose hw. only played 3 games. D: first two i won (H) but last game stuffed up cos khang just threw his cards - loser. bt then we all did. so all good. (:

afterschool: did stuff with my brother and his friend O: the little guy had a blow torch and we starting burning things and mucking around with it and hairspray /deo. it was fun :D

then i got bored, very bored, extremely bored, about to die of boredness, dying, dying, dying, died. whoopee

If You Dream - Tank

I never thought the sun would shine my way

All I've known is empty promises and pain

I need a way out or some type of escape

So I take refuge in this place

Even though the road to glory seems long

The fire in me could win a marathon

Believe there's nothing you can't overcome

If you dream, then you can do anything

If you dream, you're halfway to destiny

If you dream, dream the impossible

If you dream, cause a dream's unstoppable

I could've gave up a long time ago

Though the door I need to get through will always close

Storms and Rain everywhere I go

But I don't give up cause I know

Even if they say you just can't win

Believe you can go where you've never been

And you can fly high with the strength of all your friends

If you dream, then you can do anything

If you dream, you're halfway to destiny

If you dream, dream the impossible

If you dream, cause a dream's unstoppable

Dream that you can fly,

Dream thatt you can climb

Dream a mountain, all you gotta do is just

Dream that you can win,

Dream with Confidence

Dream to the very end cause dreamers become champions

Dream until it's real,

Dream, Don't let them kill your

Dream The fight still is in you, all you gotta do is

Dream, Just keep the faith,

Dream, Don't ever break

Don't let it slip away cause all you gotta do

Even though the road to glory seems long

The fire in me could win a marathon

Believe there's nothing you can't overcome

If you dream, then you can do anything

If you dream, you're halfway to destiny

If you dream, dream the impossible

Dream, then you can do anything

Dream, you’re halfway to destiny

Dream, dream’s unstoppable .

muchloveeeeeee, lily (:

my little sister took that photo today, rofl.

not ready to let you go.

2009-10-09T10:29:00.002+10:00

i thought .. i thought that we were bestfriends. i thought that when you said we were that it wasn`t just a one time thing, that it was for real. even though we`re going through a hard time, i thought our friendship still meant something to you. but i found out "bestfriends" isn`t on your list anymore ..

theres so many things i want to say .. that i don`t want this to end .. that i don`t want to lose this friendship. i want to tell you how i feel, that i want us to be the way we were, bestest of friends. but when i try to you get angry at me. i don`t want to make you upset so i just keep quiet .. i`m scared of what you`ll say back to me. even though it hurts more than anything .. seems like all i can do, is stand back .. and watch you slip further and further away from right in front of me each day ..

" i want you to stay .. so please don`t go .. "

it seems like everything i say, everything i do doesnt have meaning to you anymore .. like you don`t even need me. what am i suppose to do, when you don`t need me .. but i need you.

i`m starting to consider an option .. which will get me away from all this. funny how all because of one person, it can lead to making a life changing decision. I am aware that this choice will change my life dramatically .. but it seems like its the only way. for the meantime, i won`t say anything about it because i`m still not sure whether its worth restarting my life all over again .. just laying out the pro`s and con`s for now ..

" like i`m in a fast flowing stream, and i`ve been using all my strength to stand my ground, but its time to let go and fall with the current. "

Dear Me - Claude Kelly

Dear me, i'm writing this song

To let you know how much i hate

How you let him slip away

Dear me, you just don't know

How much it pisses me off every day

That you were too afraid

To tell him you wish

That he would stay

You make me sick

With all the things

That you never said

everything seems to be going good for you, so i wish you the best .. that you`ll remain happy always .. i`ll always remember the memories we shared as bestfriends. i`ll never forget what we once were .. i`ll miss you ; t .. xlove/jazmyn

when will you see through my eyes.

2009-10-08T11:31:00.001+10:00

i don`t get it.

i don`t understand.

what did i do, for you to treat me this way.

what did i do, to make you not care.

we`ve been through everything together, every emotion that exists.

that somehow it seems you`re a part of me.

theres been painful memories, but then what about all those happy memories we shared.

our friendship, what we had,

was the strongest out there.

what happened to "bestest friends in the whole world .."

how did we get from that .. to almost strangers ?

i long for the day you realise that our friendship is one of a kind,

the day you realise that its all worth it.

bestfriends: "tj" forever ,, ?

♫ Crying Inside - Steveo

xlove\jazmyn

A BRIGHTER STAR

2009-10-07T11:07:00.000+10:00

" i`m trying to rebuild this relationship;

but if you don`t care and don`t try aswell,

then what the hell am i doing. "

As you may have noticed, i haven`t been exactly the happiest person alive in the past few days. but i finally realised that everything happens for a reason right? and that fate made things be the way they are. & plus i have a feeling things are gonna work out soon (: causeeeeeee, well last night i talked to a few people on the phone. and one of them was my cousin daniel. he told me a few things, which really made everything clearer and i kinda understand the reason behind what happened. he said that he`ll try to fix things for me, cause basically it was his fault from the start -.- / but yeah, now it seems like theres a brighter staaar out there :)

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY DANiEL (:

well i haven`t had the chance to upload photos from the holidays so i figured i`d do that today (:

W e d n e s d a y : 30SEP09

photos below are from thuans bbq

Good things but then not-so-good things happened on this day but i guess its in the past so lets just leave it there.

T h u r s d a y : 01OCT09

went late night with him/

F r i d a y : 02OCT09

hung out with him/ actually it was more like i was kidnapped by him LOL
went to his friends house, then indro, then city, then bused home. \ one of the best day of my life i might add ;D

S a t u r d a y : 03OCT09 / m o o n f e s t.

as most of you know, moonfest was pretty shit. but i gotta see many sexy faces again ;) / ellie came over before and we just hung out. then got driven to moonfest. met up with chelceeee ! and other peoplee, thens we went up top to the big fielding thingy and had some drinkss and v. gotta little tipsy, lawwwwwwl. i also buried an old photo, in the bark @ the playground. i think it was partly cause i was kinda high and tipsy. if anyone finds it i`ll shout you out anything you want ;D / saw him, talked, hung out etc etc things happened and theres no need to talk about what happened after.

S u n d a y : 04OCT09

Ahhh, it was the "4th" of the month again .. / anways, i went to hang out with chelcee to get my mind of things (: went over her house first, then we went to inalaa and walked around and did things you do at inala ya know ? :L and yeaaah. :)

Chelcee Lee Kim Mai ;

Thankyou for a l w a y s being there for me. I couldn`t have gone through these past few days without you. I trust you with all of me and i couldn`t ask for more in a friend. We`ve been through kinda the same thing and i realised that i`m not in this alone. Whenever you need me, i`ll always be here for you, just like you were there for me. i absolutely love you babe xo / oh & i most likely love her more than you ;D

___________________________________________________________________________________

I saw us break
I watched us fall
It made no sense to me at all
You say that you will
But then you don't
So I'm gonna take this step alone
In my heart of hearts
I always knew
This jump was way too far for you
You say that you will
But then you don't
So I'm gonna take this step
I'm gonna take this step alone .

LOVE, JAZMYNN x

THESE FEELINGS I CANT HIDE

2009-10-06T09:50:00.000+10:00

found a song that pretty much expresses how i feel.

NEVER MET YOU - RL

_______________________

All day I’m thinking about you,
All night I’m thinking about you
Can’t get you off my mind but I wish I could
Cause I’m going insane knowing I can’t have you
Reminiscing again, memories of me with you,

All I do is think about you and it’s killing me (yeah),
I wish that I could just erase you from my memory
I couldn’t miss you if I didn’t remember you but I do,
Remember those times with you

It be so much easier if I never even knew you at all.. you know

Sometimes I wish that I never met you
I neva knew you that I could forget you I wish I could
Erase all the memories that I have,
Damn I miss you bad, girl I wish I had
Never met you [4X] wish I never met you,
Never met you never met you
Never met you so I wouldn’t miss you now

I wish I didn’t go to that spot that night, I wish I did not have
Cause I wouldn’t never seen you and talked to you and knew you at all …
Wouldn’t have to miss you since you been gone, now all I do is …

All I do is think about you and it’s killing me (yeah),
I wish I just erase you from my memory
I couldn’t miss you if I didn’t remember you but I do,

Remember the times with you

And I wish I could just catch amnesia or something.. you know?

Sometimes I wish that I never met you
I neva knew you that I could forget you I wish I could
Erase all the memories that I have,

Damn I miss you bad, girl I wish I had

Never met you [4X] wish I never met you,
Never met you never met you
Never met you so I wouldn’t miss you now

I don’t wanna think about you no more…
I don’t wanna miss you no no no,
and I don’t wanna see your face in my head,

I wish I can just let it go go go, cause all I do

All I do is think about you and it’s killing me, yeah
I wish that I could just erase you from my memory
I couldn’t miss you if I didn’t remember you but I do,
remember the times with you

- jazmyn

bleh

2009-10-05T20:33:00.000+10:00

Lets see today started off great. :D

i got really tired and stuff

then it started being shit,

and now it sucks

FML

lots and lots of love, lily.

FAR FAR AWAY

2009-10-05T09:41:00.000+10:00

i`m gonna be gone for a while ..

trying to find a way to escape from this world, and so far i`ve only found one option ..

its hard when you dont know what that persons thinking .. or how their even feeling ..

all these people messing with my head , i cant take this no more ..
i can`t breathe ..

i dont know what was real and what wasnt, and i`m still trying to figure out who are the ones that would always be there for me ..
at times like these i wish they would call me , and keep me company ..
i just need someone to talk to i guess ..

" show me that you care .."

- jazmyn

still waiting for that persons call ..